You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize