okay pat passed out under dana's car
her vagine was all disorganized.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
