Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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