We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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