her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
