At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
