Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
