where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
