it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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