Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
