i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
