11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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