I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize