Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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