u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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