What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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