You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
