Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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