Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I forget how to act sober
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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