Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
