Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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