Your tits are I can't wait for
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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