I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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