RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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