"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
handjob tips. give me some.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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