girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
