I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
