its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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