i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
