You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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