you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
