I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
