"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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