this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
