she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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