Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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