i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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