she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
