i just wanna soil my oats bro
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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