I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
