She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
