the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
