Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
