so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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