there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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