If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize