I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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