I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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