I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
