Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
