Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
