I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
