I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
