Do you still have your period?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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