Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
