so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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