I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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