She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
