Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
