Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
