her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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